I have to admit, I’m shocked.

Political correctness in the Kingdom has gone haywire, to the point where we’re now being asked to close our eyes and ears to racism, and pretend it doesn’t exist. Take, for example, Jade Goody and the crew, on the most recent Celebrity Big Brother. I wasn’t remotely surprised to discover that Jade, a common, mouthy essex girl, was using less than kosher words to describe her Indian housemate, Shilpa Shetty. It’s disgusting, I do not tolerate racism from my friends, nor should I from celebrities. But let’s have some perspective here: in the real world, racism exists.

It’s a big statement to make in this day and age, but there it is. Racism is out there, literally on your doorstep. Like dogshit, you can’t just pretend it isn’t there, because if you do, your feet end up smelling funky. We live in times where people are fighting for kidneys in reality TV shows, where parents are taught how to control their kids by a ‘professional’, and where grown men disfigure themselves for the purposes of entertainment. It’s an unwholesome world, and to pretend otherwise is to simply bury your head in the sand.

So I take offense at the notion that the Big Brother team are now being forced to apologise for showing the public exactly how repulsive Jade Goody actually is. Are we supposed to stop teaching about the holocaust now as well? Are we no longer allowed to remind the world that there are people out there who have unwholesome outlooks on their fellow human beings?

In the same torrent of attacks against Channel 4 came an attack against the show, ‘Shipwrecked’, because an 18-year-old girl told people that she didn’t like black people, or lesbians. Well God damn, shit the bed. Racism and prejudice, it would seem, have turned into the 21st century’s number 1 taboo (with the possible exception of paedophiles and 911 jokes). The girl in question, Lucy, has since discovered that actually, lesbians and black people are just like any others. Had she been removed from the show, as requested by her critics, she would never have had the experiences which would change her mind.

Come on chaps. If we pretend something doesn’t exist, it will eventually bite us in the ass. Global warming, for example. It’s time this media blackout is exposed as being nothing but counter-productive. The more that we are allowed to pretend that bad things don’t exist, the more attractive the bad things will become, just look at kids and sex or drug-based education.

Just imagine it. A large, dark dancefloor, with four pillars standing at its corners. On the top of each pillar, someone doing this, with UV balls, and some form of UV clothing. If ever I buy a club, I know what I’m investing in…

Beauty contest officials chose a model from Stoke-on-Trent to represent Birmingham because they could not find anyone pretty enough from the city.

Miss Great Britain organisers picked Sophie Wilson to represent the city in a heat despite her only connection being an ex-boyfriend who lived there.

The 18-year-old IT student said she thought it was unfair on Birmingham’s beauties.

The competition was later won by Rachael Tennant, from Aberdeen.

A spokesman for Miss Great Britain said: “We were desperately looking for a Miss GB entrant from Birmingham but in truth, there was no-one suitable who entered.

“We look forward to more entering next year.”

Now I’ve been to Birmingham a couple of times, and to be fair, I wholeheartedly concur. Full story is available here.

Only joking. The judges clearly weren’t looking in the right places…

She’s from Birmingham. Allegedly.

Gotta love the Daily Mail:

Secret plans to encourage the nation to give up eating meat are being examined by the Government.

A leaked e-mail expresses sympathy for the environmental benefits of a mass switch to a vegan diet – a strict form of vegetarianism which bans milk, dairy products and fish.

The change would need to be done “gently” because of a “risk of alienating the public”, according to the document.

The extreme policy is being examined on the basis it could make a major contribution to slowing climate change.

Farm animals are blamed for producing huge amounts of the greenhouse gases methane and carbon dioxide.

Full story is available here. So let’s pretend, for the sake of amusement, that the Mail might have printed something true. Farm animals are being blamed for creating methane and Co2? What do cars and planes run on, sunlight?